Christmas 2014, Birthday and New Year's 2015

This was such a difficult time, but we were so blessed with so much support. We were on  a pretty good schedule which was important to help Patrick. Therapy three times a day took up a lot of time and there was not time for much else. We had to eat and Patrick takes a nap everyday.

It was exciting and fun getting ready for Christmas and sharing that with Patrick for the first time. It was his first Christmas. We did keep the lights and decorations on the low down so it wouldn't be to over stimulating for Patrick.

Our friend Greg helped us get a Christmas tree and helped me put it up. After we got it all decorated, we were down stairs and heard a huge thump as though something had fallen. It was the Christmas tree and the cat sitting right next to it. We got it all cleaned up and I tied the tree so it wouldn't fall again.

We were blessed with two secret Santa's and it was so much fun. One Santa brought us a gift every night for 12 nights, and boy they were good. I never caught them. However, a few nights before Christmas I was letting the dog out around 10pm and opened the door and there was someone in a white coat bent down so all I saw was there back and coat and a big box, I said "Oh I am sorry" and shut my door. My dog Alex was looking at me like, why didn't you let me out. So I let whoever I just scared at the door finish up, I took the dog downstairs and out back and waited a while.

When I went back up stairs, I checked the door and there was no big box. There was a Christmas tree dish with candy from the Secret Santa. Then I heard my phone beep, so I brought in the dish, closed the door and checked my phone. It was from secret Santa asking me to check my door. I text back, I already did and thank you so much. They said, no check it again, that was a different secret Santa. There was a huge big box with smoked Turkey inside, I could barely get it in the house, cookies and cash! Wow! I was shocked and amazed. I was so blessed and grateful. The support we have had from friends and neighbors has truly been amazing.

I still have no idea who the secret Santa's were, but were very blessed. The next day, we had plumbing problems so I ended up using the cash to fix the plumbing, but was so extremely blessed to have the cash to fix the problem. So Thank you Secret Santa!!! Who ever you are, thank you!

Christmas was amazing and we had a wonderful day. It was a little overwhelming for Patrick. I never had any idea how stimulating life is, until we have had to live in a low stimulation environment.

We have a sign on our front door that says, "DO NOT DISTURB Low stimulation environment, please call to make an appointment. I can't tell you how many people can't read. They knock, the dog barks and poor Patrick's brain is like what is going on, what is all that noise. Who is here? Or really, I have no idea what was going on in Patrick's brain, but the look on his face was frighting.

We made it through Christmas, next was Patrick's birthday. This was a lot for Patrick. After Christmas, we have our sons birthday, then Patrick's, then New Years! Everything was on the low down this year. It was okay and we had a great time and most important, time together.


New Years Eve was next and we have an annual New Years Eve get together with a few friends, that have come over for the past 6 years. We are lame, but we have fun. It is an early evening with good food to eat, then after we eat we do our color and number readings for the year, yes even the guys do it. Then at 8pm we do the countdown and then everyone goes home before 9pm. We have a great time and it is quick and everyone get's home safe and we all have a great happy New Years! It was the first time having people over and it was great. All though not everyone came this year, we had a great time. I think that it is hard on a lot of people what has happened to Patrick.

New Years Day! Happy 2015, today Patrick woke up and had his first memory recall. He came out of the bedroom and said to me I remember something. He remembered being with his mom at the grocery store in his home town when he was little. We were so excited and so happy! His memory is coming back. I know it is just one memory but it is something.

It gave us hope and belief to keep positive and keep believing he will get better.

It was a great start to the new year!


Kollette

Journal Entry December 8, 2014 and Where Patrick was at

Monday today we had speech therapy and I got up early and swam. His speech therapist said he was doing great. If Patrick cannot say what he wanted to say, he is describing it. Cheeseburger, what a plate was. A round, flat with edges. I never knew it was so hard and so bad until after he got out of rehab. I was never at the hospital early enough to see him do speech therapy.

It was hard to realize that he didn't know what things were visually, a simple thing like a giraffe.

Yes, we can do this. Every time I feel alone I remind myself that we are in this together. I am not alone unless I make myself lonely and believe me I have those moments.

I won't let that take up my whole day, that would be exhausting! When ever I feel down I cry, feel the emotion and then thank God for not taking him from me. How blessed we are. I know he will have a full recovery. I allow myself to get down scared, full of fear – where is that going to get me? I have to rise above and keep a positive attitude and have faith and believe and visualize and be grateful as if he has fully recovered.

I tell my kids to visualize daddy walking through the door as if nothing has changed and keep sending him love. I let fear in once in a while, we are human and it is OK to feel emotions but we also have to rise above with strength, find love and keep going. This is so hard but I love him so much!   

One of the ICU nurse said she would not have done what I did for Patrick, for her husband! What?  I would send love and still do everyday and send every cell in his body love and I surround him with the healing light of the divine, God and the angels. I am not alone, I ask for help and pray and remember to remember the love. Patrick loves me he always has and I know he wouldn't leave me. I just kept sending him love and still do. I am so grateful he is still here with us.

The next day we went to the heart doctor and also to see the nurses in the ICU. They were so surprised to see Patrick walking and talking they were just amazed it was a wonderful day.
His heart is doing great, the doctor showed us the whole surgery of putting the stent in. Wow, that was amazing. He didn't have much to say except that Patrick could  eat whatever he wanted and he would be fine for the next 10 years, Patrick was like, that it, that's all I get.

Where Patrick was at, at this point of his recovery

Patrick still had Occupational, Speech and Physical Therapy daily. He was relearning objects, re-learning everything. Even sayings, here are a few of our favorites.
"Rock them around" was meaning to stir something
"Whoopsy Woo" Remembers saying from child hood.
"Officers" what he called his therapist
"My Girls" His sisters
"Fine" When every you asked how he was or if he liked something
"So not Agreeable" Meaning Not acceptable
"Busted" If you yawned and got caught, it was time to take nap
"Rats" When he did something wrong he would say Rats and swing his arm, too funny.

Other things he would do.
He had a specific seat at the table, he never did before now. Patrick gets really upset and does to this day if someone else sit in his seat. He was able to write and spell but not read yet. He was starting to remember things like the day of the week, his birthday and where we live. He recognizes names and voices, but not faces or anything visually.
He was struggling with being a dad and the whole discipline thing. It was extremely hard. He called himself stupid and thought our kids were spoiled. I am not allowed to swear at all anymore, if you only knew how Patrick's mouth was before the heart attack.

Costco and the store were out of the question. Patrick would beg me to go to the store, we did a few times and now he would rather not go. Do you know how stimulating a store is, holy cow, now I get over stimulated. Still no TV or visitors.

He would look around the house, look in the garage at his motorcycles. He would check everything out, trying to figure it all out. It was like watching a baby learn new things. Today he still asks questions on what things are or how they work. We are so grateful that he can relearn things and retain it.

Thank you for letting me share our journey.

Kollette 

Next post, Christmas and New Years.

First Thanksgiving

 It was so nice to be home and out of the hospital. Thanksgiving was approaching and so was the visit from Patrick’s two older sisters. Patrick has 4 siblings, His oldest sister died in 2012 from a Massive Heart Attack at age 48. Then he has two other sisters, Kathleen and Pam, and his brother Duane.

Patrick’s parents do not fly and Duane was unable to come out due to work. It was hard going through all of this without his family being close.

His sisters arrived, it was so good to see them and Patrick was so happy. We were all happy to see each other. They came with gifts for the kids and love for their brother.

We were still on low stimulation lock down, no TV,  doing dishes or laundry or vacuuming. No anything that made noise.

When Patrick would go outside, he would ask me, “What is that noise?” I would ask him, what noise? That noise, you mean the dog barking.  Oh my goodness, the dog barking from across the neighborhood. I didn’t even notice it. He could hear everything and it was all new to him. It was very difficult to explain this to his sisters and have them be extra quiet.

The first 24 hours all they did was argue, as sisters do. I had to lay down the rules and I told them both to knock it off or I would take them back to the airport and they could go home. I had enough going on and didn’t need them fighting.

I felt bad, they didn’t know what to do to help and I had no idea which direction to go. I had been in the hospital with Patrick for two months, I have not been around my children, I didn’t know what to expect with Patrick. I didn't know what to expect from my children, but it all worked out just fine.

It was hard and I felt so bad for Patrick and how he must have felt. It was like having an adult infant around that could talk but not really communicate what he wanted at that point. Patrick didn’t know what things were, for example knife, fork, spoon, clouds, table, chair, bed, etc. Visually he didn’t know what things were and he is still learning today.  He remembers voices and that he loves us, our home is familiar and comfortable.

The good thing is that he is able to relearn everything and create new memories, and remember. He does not remember things visually to this day. But he remembers sounds and emotions. For example, he remembered that he loved us, he remembers the sounds of tools and how to use them, but visually he does not remember building our house or being a General Contractor or any of his clients, projects, getting married, having kids, but we are so grateful he remembers he loves us and our voices. He remembers music, he is amazing. As for his personality, it is there for sure. He tells me all the time he will be back. I tell him, you are right here. 

Patrick was able to write and spell, but he was not able to read at this time. We still had to work on his routine and bathroom items. I would have to watch him every minute the first few months he was home. He would get things confused like toothpaste and soap. He had such a great attitude and he has learned so much and he worked really hard. I can't even imagine, but he keeps fighting hard to get better. 

Thanksgiving Feast – Patrick’s first Thanksgiving

I was not going to do anything for Thanksgiving, but then realized that Patrick didn’t remember the holidays’ or Thanksgiving. This was his first one, so we went all out.

What a wonderful day. Kathy and I went to the store, fed the kids and Pam, mom and Patrick lunch and then we started cooking the Thanksgiving Feast. We had so much fun, Kathy and I cooked all day, everything turned out perfect. Patrick said it was the most wonderful meal he has ever had.

Saturday after Thanksgiving – Patrick seems to be remembering more today, he had a high school memory come back. He remembers emotions and he knows what irritates him. I am getting really good at reading him and knowing when he has had enough. He is like a child and pushes himself, until he is so tired and agitated. He needs his rest so his brain can heal. 

We had speech therapy the next day for Patrick and his therapist said that his speech was a lot better.

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving.

I asked Patrick a few days later if he wanted anything from the store that he had eaten. He didn't know what it was called. I asked him to describe it to me. He sad it was white and creamy. Whipped cream? He said yes, yum. We make it home made. 

Coming up a Journal Entry, Christmas, Birthday and New Year!

Kollette Chambers

Coming Home

It it all such a blur, the two months in the hospital. I fought the doctors to get him home, the rehabilitation center was horrible. The doctors and therapist were great but the nursing staff was not. If you ever have a loved one in the hospital, put yourself aside and focus on your loved and be the best health advocate you can. Get to know the nurses, make sure they know you and they know that you are watching and making sure your loved one is getting the care they deserve. Ask lots of questions and make sure you look at there chart everyday!

Patrick was not getting any sleep and they wanted to keep him a week longer than expected. I was so frustrated, he was not sleeping and they would have him do all this therapy, then he would sleep for a few hours and be up all night. The brain needs sleep in order to heal. So I had the nurses keep a sleeping log when I was not there so I could show the doctors he was not sleeping. Now Patrick sleeps 10-12 hours every night and has a 1-2 hour nap everyday.

There were so many people in rehab and I never saw any friends or family come much to visit other patients. The hospital is a depressing place, yes, but you may find yourself there someday and want good care and family to be close by. This is something we do not think about on a daily basis, then it happens. We are never prepared.

I had to stay with Patrick for two days in the Transition apartment before he was able to come home to make sure I could handle everything. This was the first time Patrick and I have been alone without kids and it was in the hospital (too funny). We did great in the transition apartment and he got the okay to come home. He wanted to come home so bad. When I was not at the hospital with him, he would roam the halls with his aid looking for me.

We had to take him out in public with the therapist the last day of the transition apartment to make sure he did okay in a car and out in public. He did great.

The ride home went smoothly, but once at home, I could not leave Patrick alone for the first few weeks. It was a huge transition for him to come home, he didn't remember home or even what city it was in. He built our home and he does not remember it. I was so hoping he would remember everything once we got home. However, the surroundings were familiar to him.

Patrick came home November 14, 2014. Just in time for the Holidays (that he does not remember or know what any holidays are). Patrick had to relearn just about everything. He does not remember anything visually before his heart attack. However he has had a few memory recalls since, very few but they are coming back. He remembers emotions and sounds. So if you see him don't be afraid to say hello, he will probably recognize you by your voice.

I had a difficult time being out in public with him and running into people at first, I didn't know what to do or say. How do you explain a brain injury and then when you do, they don't understand. It is okay, the doctors don't understand or know the outcome either. The brain just needs time to heal.

We both have gotten better about dealing with it now, Patrick has gotten so much better being out and about. When he first got home, we lived in a very quiet and non stimulating environment. Things like the washing machine and dishwasher were stimulating or the dog barking in the next neighborhood. He heard everything. It is like having a newborn in an adult body that can communicate with you. Most everything was "Fine". Any question you asked Patrick, he would answer, "Fine".

Patrick was unable to read when he got home, but he was able to write and spell. The brain is so interesting.

The most important thing was to get Patrick on a routine, which was extremely helpful. As he relearns, he is able to do things on his own after doing it several times.

For Patrick's Daily Routine {Click Here}

The days went by so fast, he had Occupational, Speech and Physical Therapy daily. It was a lot to get him to Salt Lake City (50 miles away). The drive was too stimulating. We were lucky enough when therapy ran out on our insurance to get a grant to continue Speech and Occupational therapy. We are now able to do all three from home, which has been amazing.

When Patrick first got home, he thought he was 22 years old and became very depressed when he found out he was 43 years old. Then he kept calling himself stupid for everything he did. It was a wild roller coaster ride for the first few months. I would forget that he didn't know what anything was visually and I tried to remember and teach him what things were. He would get frustrated if he didn't know what I was talking about. It has gotten better but he is still learning.

I gave him a Dove Chocolate a couple of weeks after being home and I just assumed that he knew what to do with it, so I turned around after I handed it to him and I read mine, then threw it away. I turned back to him and asked him, what did his say? (Dove Chocolates have little sayings in the wrappers). He pressed his lips together and grinned. I put my hand up and said to him, spit it out. Yup he had put the whole chocolate in his mouth, wrapper and all. We laughed and still laugh about that today.

He had only been home two weeks and we were getting a visit from his sisters that live in New Hampshire. I was happy to have family around as my dad had left as soon as Patrick got out of the ICU. I had great neighbors and friends, but it is still nice to have family close and around. Especially in this situation.

We had to be super quiet at first, no tv, no visitors, no phone calls, no talking on the phone, no appliances going, blinds shut. It was so quiet and actually nice. I learned how much our brains are stimulated. Just watching Patrick and knowing him so well and learning how to read him and know the signs when he was getting tired.

It was months before going to the store and still today I try to avoid it with him. I would take him to drop the kids off at school and he would get upset at all of the kids riding their bikes and scooters without helmets and he would get agitated, so I quit taking him with me to drop the kids off and timed it where it was his nap time when I would go pick them up from school. Today he does much better in public and when people are not wearing helmets.

 It was a balance keeping it all together and still is. I stay positive and things improved daily. It is hard, I did just want to break down. But I couldn't I had 5 people fully depending on me. I will do my best and preserver.

The first few weeks we worked on getting Patrick on a routine, which really helped. Then we awaited the visit from his sisters. I was not going to do anything for Thanksgiving when I realized that this would be Patrick's first Thanksgiving that he would remember so we had to go all out.

Challenges I faced; were making decisions on my own, the children and how they were dealing with it all, all the canned lights in the hallway were out, all the lights in the bedroom were out, I cried over split milk, the kitchen sink breaking and flooding the kitchen floor over and over. Receiving help, trying to bring some normal back into our lives. Remembering to teach Patrick. The challenges seemed so big at the time. Now that months have gone by, I know that this is happening for a reason and I have learned so much. Most of all I have learned how grateful I am for Patrick and all that he used to do for me and the kids.

Coming up next the Twisted Sisters Visit and Thanksgiving.

Kollette Chambers

Recommend Reads - Living with Brain Injury a Guide for patients and families and Mind Storm.

The Phone Call you Never Expect

In an instant our life changed and I have found the courage to share our story

in hope that it will help others. 

On Friday, September 26, 2014 I received the phone call you never expect.   It started after my mother and I boarded a plane to Texas, to visit family.   Patrick, my husband got the kids off to school for the day.  Then my healthy, 43-year old husband drove off to work on his next construction project.

When we landed in Texas, I got an emergency call that Patrick had been in an accident at work and he was in critical condition and being life-flighted to the top trauma hospital in Salt Lake City – some 50 miles away.   As I soon found out, my mother and I headed back to the airport. 

Patrick had had a massive heart attack and was found by his co-workers, without a pulse.  Amazingly, a co-worker was able to resuscitate him using CPR, until the EMTs arrived. Patrick went without oxygen for approximately 8-10 min.

The first few months were a blur. Three weeks in intensive care with tubes for his body’s basic necessities.  Family moving in to help with the kids; friends and neighbors bringing meals and helping out with chores and projects; and so many of you offering your prayers and kind words of support for us.  I never expected it would be like this. 

The doctors told me he had an Anoxic Brain injury due to lack of oxygen and worst case, he will never walk again and most likely will be a vegetable and you will have to hand feed him the rest of your life.  They were optimistic because of his age and said they didn't know for sure and it takes a long time for the brain to heal. I told them that they were wrong and they didn't know my husband. Day 14 in the ICU, Patrick stood up and the next day he walked. 

On October 17, 2014 Patrick was strong enough to move to another hospital for rehabilitative care where he relearned to move, eat and breathe on his own. Weeks of lying sedentary as well as other challenges and medications have put us on a slow, but steady path to his recovery. 

 Today he still undergoes therapy and is still re learning things. He is doing great and healing slowly, but he is healing. 

Whether you’ve ever had something so sudden happen to rock your world or not, you probably know someone like me, to whom life has changed in…a heartbeat.  It took a lot of courage to share our story, as Patrick is still healing and so is our family. My dear friend and neighbor, encouraged me to to share our story as it could help others. When this happened, I said to myself and others, something good has to come out of this. 

You can either choose to be the sad victim or be a great health advocate for your loved one. I made a promise to Patrick and I love him dearly and I did not leave his side, until the doctor told me to go home it was going to be a long recovery. Having faith and believing that everything will be okay and something good will come from this or it wouldn't be happening to us. It has definitely brought us closer as a family, and reminded us what is important in life. 

To view a 18 minute webinar on our story and what has helped us heal, {Click Here} to view webinar

It is a miracle that Patrick is alive. We are so grateful for our family, friends, neighbors and community for there love, support and prayers. I have learned so much and taken so much for granite. Please slow down and enjoy your loved ones and life. Don't get caught up in it all and forget what is really important. 

Today, Patrick still has therapy and continues to work hard on healing everyday. He does therapy, energy work, acupuncture and uses essential oils. (click here to learn more about essential oils).

Here we are today...

I have created this blog to share our story and to help others, to keep family and friends updated and who ever else would like to follow our story as we continue to heal. I hope someday Patrick will be able to write and share his story. 

Thank you,

Kollette and Patrick Chambers