Weekly Essential

Saturday, May 12, 2018

Challenges, But So Blessed!

I haven't written in a while, I would love to write more but life happens. Since I wrote in January, my mom has declined a little and it has been a bit of a roller coaster ride, we had to move her upstairs. Then ski season hit. Patrick loves to ski and we are so grateful for our friends who give us passes at Deer Valley so we are able to ski. 

Patrick did have a memory recall in January, tubing at Solider Hollow with the kids. That is his first memory recall he has had with the kids. That was very exciting. 

Patrick is now able to drive by himself around Heber City. He is suppose to stay off Main street and stick to the back and side roads. He is not suppose to drive if the weather is bad. But if you know Patrick, he does not listen all the time and he is suborn. That has not changed and his personality is definitely back. So many blessing, but still we have our trials. Everyone does, life is a challenge and a blessing. 

Needless to say, it can be very stimulating out there. I think we are all overstimulated! Patrick picks up the kids and runs them around town for me. He can run errands but nothing to over stimulating. 

Patrick goes to the Post office, Tractor Supply, recycling, pick up kids, get dogs medicine, and UPS. I am very lucky he can drive, although it scares me. I have learned to let go and give him his independence. He is very helpful around the house. Patrick looks fine, a lot of people think he can work because he looks great! He can ski, and do anything physical he did before his heart attack. But he can not work. It is called a brain injury and they are all different. He went through many tests and therapy. He is unable to work. The kids and I love that he is home with us all the time! We love having him home and around to spend time with us.

This does not mean he can't do anything, he just can't work for someone else, Dr.'s orders and no one could possibly understand unless you lived with him. He keeps very busy and helps us a ton! He has a wonderful schedule and when he sticks to it, it is a good day.

I wish I could explain it better or help people understand his brain injury. He can not work due to his short term memory and his cognitive issues. I have to tell him what to do. He does great when I give him a list. He struggles if I just tell him what needs to be done. He does not remember. With a list, he has something to look at and he crosses it off as he gets things done. He is pretty funny because sometimes he does not like to do things, so he won't. I don't blame him. 

He still does not remember his memories before his heart attack. He has had very few memory recalls and sometime I wonder if they are from photos he has seen or he remembers us talking about situations. 

I do know that some are definitely memory recalls, most of them from his childhood.  We are so grateful he has his muscle memory and is able to do all the physical activities he loves to do. 


Patrick sticks to his schedule and he is very helpful, he helps me take care of my mom, which is huge. I tell him that is his job is helping me with my mom and doing things around the house and I pay him so he feels good about it all. He is contributing. 

The biggest challenge I have with Patrick is he needs to rest his brain and he refuses. He does not want to miss a thing. Then he gets irritated and then he starts yelling. We have family meetings often to address and communicate. It is frustrating for all of us, but we are all doing our best. It is hard on every single one of us. This has been a journey for all of us in the family, we are blessed in a way for what we have all learned, we are truly understanding the meaning of Love!

I am struggling coming upon the year anniversary of my father passing, my mother declining and my husband's slow recovery. My kids are growing up way too fast, but all in all, we are all very blessed.

At the end of the day I am grateful to have my family home safe at home and that they are all healthy.


In January, we had a great month of skiing, especially for not having any snow. It was the lowest snow fall since I have lived here. But the resorts did a great job providing enough snow to ski. In February, it was warm and then it was freezing cold. We didn't ski much in February, but then March came, we finally got some snow and even some powder days. March was a great month, the kids went with us a lot. For spring break we had a staycation and skied and went to the theater and saw the Riverdance. We had a great week. 

The school year is coming to and end, Kent will be in high school next year, Kellan will be in 7th and Karly will be in 5th grade. I can't believe how fast time goes. Kent asked me the other day what I was going to do when they were all gone. I have so much to do, and told him not to worry. 

Patrick continues to do therapy everyday! He is working really hard to get better. In December we started light therapy for both my mother and Patrick. I have seen positive changes in my mother and in Patrick, but more with my mother and her issues. So it is working and over time, we are hopeful and have faith it will work for Patrick. He still uses essential oils everyday and they are so supportive. He absolutely loves the light therapy. To learn more about or try light therapy click here. To learn more about essential oils click here or contact me for more information. 

We have a lot of projects and adventures planned for the summer....

I know everyone has hardships, challenges and frustrations. Just remember to learn from them, be positive and love everything you can. Be grateful for what you have and count your blessings. Most of all remember you are not alone and someone out there has it worse then you do. When you need help or prayers, ask! Also remember to help and pray for others. Love over Fear is our new affirmation. Love heals everything. Don't get wrapped up in the drama, turn to love and everything will be okay. Have Faith and Trust! God and the universe has your back!

God Bless You....until next time. 



Kollette and Patrick

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Three Year Anniversary

I wrote this in October 2017 and wanted to edit and then post. Sorry it took me so long. A new update will be coming soon.

Wow for someone who loves to write a year has sure gone by fast. I love to write and it is really healing for me and I hope that with me sharing my story I can help others. Life is precious and I see so many taking it for granite. Why does something bad have to happen in order for us to wake up?

I do have faith and I do believe Patrick will come back to us. We still do a lot of therapy and energy work. Patrick had 4 memory recalls in March. Amazing... We were so excited. It has been over a year. In January we found he has sever sleep apnea and this could have been part of the cause of his heart attack. We will never know for sure. It was a long process to figure this out and find a doctor that would listen to us and actually do something. I have been telling the doctors since he was in the ICU, he never slept. I finally after talking to three different doctors, begged for a sleep test. Finally, but even after being on the C-pap machine he is still not sleeping. We saw the sleep doctor a few weeks ago and he is going in for his third sleep study.

Patrick is doing really well besides lack of sleep and ready to do something, anything. So if you want to see him, golf with him, take him to lunch or for a drive, he would love it! It is hard for me to make everyone happy in my house hold, and taking care of my mom full time, Patrick and three kids. It is very hard to keep everyone happy. But everyone seems to be doing great and we are all happy 95% of the time.


The end of February I found out my dads cancer was back with a vengeance. We were all in denial, he was getting ready for another round of radiation but I found out later it was just to help with the pain. We made a family trip out there in April and spent a week with him. I would have dropped everything and stayed longer had I know he was down to his last weeks. I had no idea, again in huge denial.

Plus no one would tell me how bad it was and if they did, I didn't listen. And I wish I did. Not a month later I got the phone call to get out there right away, he didn't have much time. Okay so I called my back up, got out there four days later. Expecting he would have a couple more weeks or even months. I had my plans all figured out to go and see him weekly. And then he told me not to leave and the next day he was gone. WHAT? I still can not believe it. It all happened so fast. I was so busy with work and even after I had to wrap things up and keep it together. I got through May, I don't know how.

Then we had a month before his celebration of life. That was heart breaking, it was my job to go through the 40 plus years of photos, first I had to find them and then pick out the most memorable. I was not alone with this project as his friends and wife were doing the same. I just had the majority of his life photos. It was a very emotional process.

Finally my father's celebration, the kids and I went out to San Diego, it was a quick trip and I saw so many people in such a short amount of time. It was a whirlwind. Patrick was a champ and stayed to take care of my mom. Plus it was so much in such a short amount of time. We were home for a week and then our niece came for three weeks and we had a blast with her. Busy at the lake, took a road trip to Bryce Canyon and Zions and had a great time. Then when she left we had two weeks before school started. Summer went quick.

We went on a lot of horse back rides, went to the lake, swimming in the back yard, went hiking with the dogs and hiking without the dogs. We spent a lot of time together. The kids had hangout dates with friends. Summer went really fast, but we had a blast. I can't believe we didn't have any BBQ and we were not very social. It was rather relaxing and with the loss of my dad, we just enjoyed each other. Our family has experienced a lot of loss the past three years. I know we are not the only ones experiencing loss or grief. Everyone has there hardship. I am so grateful for my hardship and do my best to learn the lesson and move to the next phase of life. I know we could not do this without this experience and I trust and believe that it is part of the plan and nothing but good can come from it all.

When Patrick and I figure it out and learn what we need to learn, he will remember. He remembers things and emotions, but nothing visual still, but there is progress all the time he is surprising me with little things here and there. Memories of him not liking my mom's dog when 6 months ago he couldn't remember that she had a dog. I see improvements. It is slow, one step forward two steps back. It is better than nothing. I am so grateful everyday that Patrick is still with us. We have three amazing children that are full of life and I am so glad Patrick is here to witness his children grow up and be a part of it all. I am grateful he can kiss the kids good night.

Through all of this the kids and I agree on one thing, we love having him home. We love that he is relaxed and present and that he loves us. He gets frustrated and I am sure he is sick of hanging out at home. He has his golf once a week and we go on horseback rides when we can. Patrick helps me around the house, with the horses, he drives me around, he helps me so much.

I can't believe it has been three years. Our kids have grown up so much and as slow going Patrick's recovery is, life is good, but time has gone by way too fast. I thought we would be much farther along and that he would have been back by now. Don't get me wrong, we love him just the way he is, but we do miss the before accident Patrick. Our family is really amazing, what we have gone through, how well we are all doing.

We learned how fragile life is, how we once and sometime still take it for granite. Then there are things that happen to remind us. My children have experienced what most people don't in a lifetime. They are so strong, we all are, even Patrick. We have all had to work hard on this sudden transformation of our whole life. I am so blessed, we are all so blessed in so many ways.

We are enjoying life, taking care of our minds, body's and souls. Loving each other, life and all living things, grateful for all that we have, our friends and family. Spending as much time as we can together and with my mother Nana. It has been challenging for sure. But I love them and they love me and they need me and I need them. It has been a journey for sure and we never know what is going to happen next.

This last year our boys played base ball, Karly swam on the swim team, I kept up with my swimming and Patrick works out everyday. My mom just goes with the flow and does her sit to be fit and walks everyday.

We will see what this next year brings. We are laying low this fall and just enjoying family time. Enjoy your life, loved ones and self. Be present, take responsibility for yourself. Show or tell people how much you love them.
Take Care and reach out to us if you'd like. Until next time..

Patrick and Kollette


PS Since I wrote this, Patrick has now been approved to drive by himself around town. This is so huge and helpful.