Weekly Essential

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Three Year Anniversary

I wrote this in October 2017 and wanted to edit and then post. Sorry it took me so long. A new update will be coming soon.

Wow for someone who loves to write a year has sure gone by fast. I love to write and it is really healing for me and I hope that with me sharing my story I can help others. Life is precious and I see so many taking it for granite. Why does something bad have to happen in order for us to wake up?

I do have faith and I do believe Patrick will come back to us. We still do a lot of therapy and energy work. Patrick had 4 memory recalls in March. Amazing... We were so excited. It has been over a year. In January we found he has sever sleep apnea and this could have been part of the cause of his heart attack. We will never know for sure. It was a long process to figure this out and find a doctor that would listen to us and actually do something. I have been telling the doctors since he was in the ICU, he never slept. I finally after talking to three different doctors, begged for a sleep test. Finally, but even after being on the C-pap machine he is still not sleeping. We saw the sleep doctor a few weeks ago and he is going in for his third sleep study.

Patrick is doing really well besides lack of sleep and ready to do something, anything. So if you want to see him, golf with him, take him to lunch or for a drive, he would love it! It is hard for me to make everyone happy in my house hold, and taking care of my mom full time, Patrick and three kids. It is very hard to keep everyone happy. But everyone seems to be doing great and we are all happy 95% of the time.

The end of February I found out my dads cancer was back with a vengeance. We were all in denial, he was getting ready for another round of radiation but I found out later it was just to help with the pain. We made a family trip out there in April and spent a week with him. I would have dropped everything and stayed longer had I know he was down to his last weeks. I had no idea, again in huge denial.

Plus no one would tell me how bad it was and if they did, I didn't listen. And I wish I did. Not a month later I got the phone call to get out there right away, he didn't have much time. Okay so I called my back up, got out there four days later. Expecting he would have a couple more weeks or even months. I had my plans all figured out to go and see him weekly. And then he told me not to leave and the next day he was gone. WHAT? I still can not believe it. It all happened so fast. I was so busy with work and even after I had to wrap things up and keep it together. I got through May, I don't know how.

Then we had a month before his celebration of life. That was heart breaking, it was my job to go through the 40 plus years of photos, first I had to find them and then pick out the most memorable. I was not alone with this project as his friends and wife were doing the same. I just had the majority of his life photos. It was a very emotional process.

Finally my father's celebration, the kids and I went out to San Diego, it was a quick trip and I saw so many people in such a short amount of time. It was a whirlwind. Patrick was a champ and stayed to take care of my mom. Plus it was so much in such a short amount of time. We were home for a week and then our niece came for three weeks and we had a blast with her. Busy at the lake, took a road trip to Bryce Canyon and Zions and had a great time. Then when she left we had two weeks before school started. Summer went quick.

We went on a lot of horse back rides, went to the lake, swimming in the back yard, went hiking with the dogs and hiking without the dogs. We spent a lot of time together. The kids had hangout dates with friends. Summer went really fast, but we had a blast. I can't believe we didn't have any BBQ and we were not very social. It was rather relaxing and with the loss of my dad, we just enjoyed each other. Our family has experienced a lot of loss the past three years. I know we are not the only ones experiencing loss or grief. Everyone has there hardship. I am so grateful for my hardship and do my best to learn the lesson and move to the next phase of life. I know we could not do this without this experience and I trust and believe that it is part of the plan and nothing but good can come from it all.

When Patrick and I figure it out and learn what we need to learn, he will remember. He remembers things and emotions, but nothing visual still, but there is progress all the time he is surprising me with little things here and there. Memories of him not liking my mom's dog when 6 months ago he couldn't remember that she had a dog. I see improvements. It is slow, one step forward two steps back. It is better than nothing. I am so grateful everyday that Patrick is still with us. We have three amazing children that are full of life and I am so glad Patrick is here to witness his children grow up and be a part of it all. I am grateful he can kiss the kids good night.

Through all of this the kids and I agree on one thing, we love having him home. We love that he is relaxed and present and that he loves us. He gets frustrated and I am sure he is sick of hanging out at home. He has his golf once a week and we go on horseback rides when we can. Patrick helps me around the house, with the horses, he drives me around, he helps me so much.

I can't believe it has been three years. Our kids have grown up so much and as slow going Patrick's recovery is, life is good, but time has gone by way too fast. I thought we would be much farther along and that he would have been back by now. Don't get me wrong, we love him just the way he is, but we do miss the before accident Patrick. Our family is really amazing, what we have gone through, how well we are all doing.

We learned how fragile life is, how we once and sometime still take it for granite. Then there are things that happen to remind us. My children have experienced what most people don't in a lifetime. They are so strong, we all are, even Patrick. We have all had to work hard on this sudden transformation of our whole life. I am so blessed, we are all so blessed in so many ways.

We are enjoying life, taking care of our minds, body's and souls. Loving each other, life and all living things, grateful for all that we have, our friends and family. Spending as much time as we can together and with my mother Nana. It has been challenging for sure. But I love them and they love me and they need me and I need them. It has been a journey for sure and we never know what is going to happen next.

This last year our boys played base ball, Karly swam on the swim team, I kept up with my swimming and Patrick works out everyday. My mom just goes with the flow and does her sit to be fit and walks everyday.

We will see what this next year brings. We are laying low this fall and just enjoying family time. Enjoy your life, loved ones and self. Be present, take responsibility for yourself. Show or tell people how much you love them.
Take Care and reach out to us if you'd like. Until next time..

Patrick and Kollette

PS Since I wrote this, Patrick has now been approved to drive by himself around town. This is so huge and helpful.

No comments:

Post a Comment